Thanks getting please Poem

Dear readers, I am most most thankful for you! Bless you and yours and ours!

Thanks getting please Poem

I always screw up the pecan pie.
Under or over cooked,
no eggs once,
then there was the year I was down
on corn syrup and used agave.
I came by it honestly.
One of my major memories
of holidays was my mother
almost bashing my stepdad on the head
with a stack of just about to set the table plates.
She stopped herself short
and ran into the master bedroom crying.

At almost forty-nine
I feel I should be over my childhood,
but my inner girl,
she shows up whining about
the flavor of sparkling cider,
she sees all the men watching football
and wants a piggy back ride.

After threatening to go out for
Chinese food next year,
after envying those who bag it and hike all day,
I prepare five pies and then
sit in the bathtub and weep
as the smell of crust and custard turns acrid.
I wonder what if I don’t feel better?
and submerge under deep waters.
Marianas, Maria,
origin of the name Mary is bitter, beloved, rebellious.
Trench, trenchant is most often an adjective,
sharp or keen, penetrating.

I learned recently that our oldest
most vulnerable just born
and baby parts have seniority,
as they have been with us the longest.
Cootchie coo, yes, mine took
the corner office with the biggest windows.
I was just told our unhealed places
are like folders on the desktop of our computer
and won’t go away until we open them.

I want to double click my personal items
labelled isolation, abandonment, disregard.
I want to clean up our collective files
called prejudice, injustice, discrimination,
race and sex and gender and all
judge others because they are different than you isms.
I want a piggy and horsey and carousel and
magic carpet and
humpback whale and elephant,
in this time of too much and too little,
please, me and all peoples, let us ride.
I don't want to do it all, have to be it all,
have some not get any at all,
want this life to give enough,
be a thanks you’re welcome poem.